Dear Dairy

12 Sep

Ohai there.

Quick update about my life (not that you’re interested): I just got back from a stupid psycho training (a useless one to boot) with a bunch of psycho immature brats, but the event has long passed and I lost the mojo to write about it. However, if you stumble upon me somewhere, ask me about it and I will go into DETAILS. Srsly, that was some messed up time.

Anyway, here I am again doing housekeeping on this blog.

It’s holiday time in Indonesia (YAYYYYY) and my office gave me a week off. Double yay with whipped cream on top! I am writing this while semi-watching the La Liga on BakrieTV (Sevilla vs. La Coruna. a.k.a. THE JESUS NAVAS SHOW) and waiting for my downloads to finish.

(since it’s going to be a recurring theme on this post, here’s visual of Jesus Navas holding a super cute baby that may or may not be his. )

I’m not gonna write about *feelings* this time (WHOAAAAA JESUS NAVAS JUST GOT A CLOSE UP BRB FREAKING OUT. JESUS THOSE EYEEEEEEES), since the psychologist in the aforementioned psycho training proclaimed me as a feeling-less human being.

I’m gonna write about calcium. Yeah. Calcium.
Now let’s think of me as a kindergarten toddler with arts and crafts project. HUMOR ME no matter how horrible this is going to be.

I initially wanted to spend this holiday week by working my ass off in the gym. BUT apparently the universe saw that the intention as unwelcome and it decided to SPRAIN MY BACK. Seriously, it must be the universe, because it JUST HAPPENED OUT OF NOWHERE. I woke up on Thursday and felt this intense pain on my back. It hurt like hell even though I wasn’t doing anything, it hurt even more when I moved. That means, no gym until the pain’s gone. The doctor ordered so. Now the pain had mostly gone into a severe discomfort and I still walk as if there’s a huge gust of wind from my left. Yeah, I walk like a wobbly palm tree, alias miring ke kanan! It was ridic. (ANOTHER CLOSE UP FOR NAVAS BRBBBBB)

While I was trying to Google-diagnosed myself, I found an interesting article about or vertebrae a.k.a. our spine. Don’t you know that women’s body will stop depositing calcium by the age of 30? By the age of 30, the body will actually use those calcium deposits for daily use, depleting it little by little. If you plan to have kids, expect the calcium deposit to be exhausted like Domino’s Pizza in my house. If your body does not have the amount of calcium needed for that function, it would actually rob the calcium from your bones. Think of an ingrate kid siphoning money out of the family account (yeah, I watch enough sinetrons to understand its bottomline). So, while you’re still in your twenties, deposit calcium as much as you can to improve your bone density. When you hit the age of 30, there’s no turning back. Scary, right?

Anyway, I thought this goddamn pain is a sign of my body robbing the calcium off my spine (starting from the right-down quarter!). I was wrong of course (the doctor said it was a torn ligament–> HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?), but that article frightened the heck out of me. My family has a history of osteoporosis, so my chance of getting it has raised exponentially. Then I realized when I lost weight a gazillion years ago, I *accidentally* put my body and bones into a great stress; so the odds of me being a hunchback just got raised. Of course, I don’t plan to have kids unless it’s a joint collaboration with the likes of Jeremy Renner, Alex Skarsgard, Manuel Neuer, Xabi Alonso (yeah he’s married so what) or Jesus Navas; so I can breathe a little. BUT to the off-chance REALLY REALLY BIG CHANCE that it might happen, birthing a half-bule baby (or BABIES–as in plural) would put a huge strain to my body, and I must prepare.

Therefore, I made a pact of getting my daily allowance of calcium. I get really obsessed about dairy products now. It’s hard to give up full cream milk (mmmmm full cream), but I’ve been coping with skimmed milk and it’s not THAT bad. (WAIT BRB THEY MADE A SPECIAL FEATURE ABOUT HEYSUS NAVAS FOR HALFTIME. LOL THEY CALLED HIM “YESUS” NAVAS. LOL THEY KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT “YESUS” NAVAS) I used skimmed milk for my lattes, and I usually consume 2 ltrs of skimmed milk per week. Now, since I got obsessed about calcium, I add one carton of ready-to-drink Anlene every day. In addition to that, I drink at least one small bottle of fat-free yogurt every day. See. I’m obsessed.

I know it won’t help much to heal the torn ligament on my back (seriously how did that happen?), but at least I’m battling the odds of me getting osteoporosis.

You should do the same! DRINK MILK!

If you don’t have weight problems, well then lucky you because you can guzzle as much as you like on delicious creamy full-cream milk. If you’re like me, well… I won’t lie: skimmed milk does not taste like milk at all. Even my dogs hate skimmed milk. It does take some getting used to to make the switch from full cream to skimmed,  and you can start from full cream > reduced fat (usually says “low fat milk”)> skimmed in a certain period of time. You can do eeeet! Sure you can take calcium tablets but in addition to it being expensive, natural-based calcium is digested and deposited better by the body. SO MILK IS THE ANSWER. PERIOOOOOD. Ask Heysus Navas if you don’t believe me. I bet he punches a stuffed bunny every day for not drinking milk regularly when he was a kid (he’s short for a bule –170 cm LOL).

PS: I really really really want a half-bule baby (or BABIES–as in plural) with those aforementioned bule dudes. Yeah, maybe I’m really really really the psycho one.

I’ll leave you this time with Jesus Navas’ tongue:

Your welcome.

Picture of Jesus and Child taken from here


3 Responses to “Dear Dairy”

  1. arman September 12, 2010 at 10:11 pm #

    Dari timeline twitter, kayaknya lu gak tidur ya teph? Begadangan nonton bola terus ya… Eh nonton bola apa nonton pemain bola ya… Hehehe :p

  2. Tephy September 13, 2010 at 12:20 pm #

    Maklum Man, libuuuuuuurrrrr!!!!! Gw nonton bola *seriously* kalo yg maen Jerman ama Spanyol. Bisa sampe kyk orang psycho. I used to like Real Madrid before they went on their douchebaggery way, but then suddenly they bought two of my fave German players (Khedira and Özil) and now I HAVE TO ROOT FOR MADRID AGAIN.

    Selain dua itu, yahhhhh… lumayan cuci mata. hahahahahaha

  3. Wilton Labarbara November 2, 2012 at 9:50 am #

    Calscium is really necessary for the formation of strong bones and nails. *

    Remember to view our very own blog site

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