Letter from Bluey

11 Jul

Dear Mom and Dad,

How are you? Fine? Still fighting a hoard of green pigs with uncanny architectural skillz? I wish you luck in your next endeavor, may it be Angry Birds: Fight Against Decepticons Edition or the Angry Birds: True Blood Edition. As you all know, people are looking forward to see our kind taking sides with a preferably naked Viking vampire, so good luck on that endeavor. I know that you all are still mad because I chose to leave the Angry Boids’ universe and venture to the real world. I thought it would be a great chance for me to broaden my horizon, and as it turns out it does. Kind of. Really.


I was sitting pretty with my tribesbirdies when a girl came in and pick me out of the bunch. I know there’s something wrong when she said “This looks like an amazing toy for Mochimon!!!!” but as you all know of me, I tried to stay positive. Toys are usually treated with love and cared for. Some actually are essential to keep a child (?) active and creative. At the time I was so excited because I was about to take part in a child’s (?) development. To think that I would have a part in his future potential, I was feeling buoyant and ready for the adventure.


And then… she took me to my current home. Immediately, I knew what my fate would be for the rest of my life.

Three white furry monsters came at me curiously (yeah, except the one in the back, he’s a bit… old), and by curiously I mean with their fangs of terror glistening from afar. I guess “chewing vigorously” is their way to say “hello and welcome!”. Out of the three, the biggest one loves me the most. And by “love” I mean “won’t let me go out of his mouth until his human handler yank me off.”

So Mom, Dad; please don’t burden your heart with this news. As I’m writing this letter to you, I am safely stashed out of reach from that Mochimon-thingy. Physically, I am ok — all things considering. Human Handler has fixed my wear and tear. Yes, I have long stitches on my bottom and sides, but don’t worry, all the wounds have healed. Things could have been worse, at least this Mochimon-thingy is protective of me. He won’t let others “play” with me except Human Handler, which I will refer to as Human Stitcher now.


See, he looks out for me. He’s not reacting to the sound of “Mochi, dinnertime!” at all.


He couldn’t even sleep without me. I think my presence is calming to him. See? I am not in a bad place… I think.

As my parting words, I hope you and our tribesbirdies back home are proud of me. I will continue to spread the joy of our birdies and prove to the world that we are generally not angry all the time. And if I don’t come back, please know that I have no regret, and I am proud to be a non-angry Angry Bird.

Wish me health and sound life,
Bluey

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