Preach Your Crazy, Girl

8 Nov

I stopped blogging for months now because every time I reread the drafts I made, it always dawns on me that I am a crazy person. (that, and the fact that I don’t write very well. NUMBERS AND BALANCE SHEETS HAVE CORRUPTED ME).

Today I’m gonna make an exception because seriously, word needs to get out.

I usually don’t mind crazy people spreading their sick-twisted minds & philosophy in the internet; because 1). It’s the internet; 2). It takes one crazy person to know one; 3). I find crazy people amazing and it creates an opportunity for me to unleash my A+ troll-game; and 4). IT’S THE INTERNET. Therefore it takes a really really really REALLY sick individual with a truly disgusting view of EVERYTHING to make me come out of hiding and write about them. So let me introduce Mrs. Rachmi Supangab to the wilderness.


She claims to be a TEACHER in one of the biggest madrasah (it’s an Islamic School btw) in Indonesia. Should I bold & underline the part that worries me the most? SHE’S A TEACHER. WHO TEACHES THINGS TO CHILDREN WITH BLANK CANVASES WHO HAVE YET THE ABILITY TO THINK FOR THEIR OWN. This woman is responsible to develop a thinking platform for those kids to build on as they grow older. Now imagine my real-as-shit fear when I read her points of view on things (the same points of view that she TEACHES every day to her students btw), among others: (links are in Indonesian — dunno how effective Google Translate would fare in translating CRAZY):

  1. Women who use perfume = SLUTS WITH NO MORAL
  2. If a dude kills a heavily-pregnant woman who talks shit about Muhammad, then it’s OK and dude could walk away without any punishment
  3. In the same post as point no. 2 above, she also said that it’s OK to kill people who talks shit about her religion (HEY TALIBAN, SEARCH NO MORE FOR YOUR NEW COMMANDER)
  4. Educating women and empowering them with knowledge will make them greedy & wild and THEY WILL GO TO HELL. OH SHIT ANGELA MERKEL & CHRISTINE LAGARDE & HILLARY CLINTON, let me be your cell-mate in hell, pleaaaaaaaseee.
  5. Women are scaredy-ass creatures whose testimony in everything will never ever be admissible in any court of justice. WE MUST ACCEPT THIS FACT WITHOUT QUESTION BECAUSE THE CARDS HAVE BEEN DEALT, GURLFRIENDS. Damn us for not having a penis!
  6. Adopting other people’s children will ensure your ticket to hell. BRAD PITT, SHE’S LOOKING AT YOU AND NOT YOUR CHISELED ABS. Jolie, you perfume-wearing skank, that means you too.
  7. Women who tell their husband “HELL NO YOU MANWHORE, YOU CANNOT TAKE A SECOND WIFE” and choose divorce instead will be my competitor in being Angela Merkel’s cellmate in hell.
  8. Unfortunately, Kompasiana must be inundated with request to remove Mrs. Supangab’s latest JEWEL OF WISDOM of a blog because it was removed a few moments ago. Basically, in the blog that introduced me to her lovely mind, she claimed that: a). women who get raped must be dirty-ass skanks who have “hey sailor come fuck me however you want in any position you like, condoms not necessary” glint in their eyes THEREFORE THEY DESERVE TO BE RAPED; b). said dirty-ass skanks who get herself raped must be whipped in public because they are skanks; c). it’s not rape if it’s not a gang rape/ exhibitionist fiesta with minimal four sicko individuals bearing witness. Hey, at least if dirty-ass skanks are gang-raped by only three people; they wouldn’t be presented in public to be whipped. PHEW!!!!!!!!! Attention rapists of the world: FOURSOME (including your victim of course) IS THE WAY TO GO! Y’ALL SHOULD ELECT MRS. SUPANGAB AS YOUR NEW DEAR LEADER!!!!!

Actually she has three pages worth of indexed blogs that I’m too tired to read in one day. Hey, I have my daily crazy quota and honestly reading her blogs made me wanna take a long shower to cleanse myself off the stank. I am obviously not the authority in religious teachings let alone Islam, but even with my very limited understanding I know that THIS IS NOT A LEGIT ISLAMIC TEACHING. From what I gather from more knowledgeable sources (a.k.a. My Muslim Friends who actually remember a few things about their own religion), Mrs. Supangab like every other radical dweebs out there only took parts of the Holy Book and other Islamic Teachings that suit their twisted minds. My friends insist that Al Quran is indeed flaw-free, but it’s up to HUMAN BEINGS WITH THEIR OWN SOUND JUDGMENT ABOUT WHAT’S RIGHT OR WRONG to implement the material things in our daily lives. Therefore, in every cases where stupid-ass human beings do stupid stuff in the name of religion, I always and will always be blaming the stupid-ass human beings. And in Mrs. Supangab case, my opinion of Islam as a peaceful religion who teaches love has not changed. What I learned from her batshit blogs are: THE WOMAN SHOULD STOP TEACHING Y’ALL. SOMEBODY PLEASE DECERTIFY HER MERITS COZ THE WOMAN IS LEGIT CRAZY.  That, and that she should stop humiliating her people and her religion furthermore by displaying her crazy in the internet.

But hey, maybe one day Habib & Co. will amass enough funds to make their own TV station.
I think Mrs. Rachmi Supangab will be a fierce competitor to Mamah Dedeh, and will steal her radical (read: CRAZY) fanbase.
Until the time comes (which hopefully is NEVER):

But hey, she doesn’t know English anyway (WESTERN TEACHING IS EVIL Y’ALL) so preach on your crazy, gurlll! My skanky perfume-using, pro-adoption, anti-polygamy, try-to-rape-me-and-I’ll-tase-you-on-the-gonads, FREE THINKING ass will be trolling.


7 Responses to “Preach Your Crazy, Girl”

  1. Andhika Napitupulu (@LeBumblebee) November 8, 2011 at 11:20 am #

    LOL. No matter how tiring a day is, you never cease to amuse me, Mosiana!

    • Tephy November 8, 2011 at 11:24 am #

      It’s my skanky perfume-wearing pleasure, you fellow future resident of hell!

  2. Car November 8, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

    Hey, I stumbled upon your blog and like your writing so much! And I must say, OMG this woman Rachmi S is effing crazy. Eeeewwwwwwwwww. Sadly there are more and more idiots like her in Ind now. :((

    • Tephy November 8, 2011 at 2:24 pm #

      Hi and thank you for your kind words, you western-speaking woman (who will go to hell btw!)!!!!

      And yes this Rachmi gurl is crazy, and more of her kind should come forward and discover KOMPASIANA so we can call them out on their craziness!!! I was sad when Kompasiana removed her rape blog because it was AMAZING. To comfort you, trust me that people did call her out on that rape blog and more must be reporting her craziness to the Kompasiana admins. I HOPE SHE NEVER STOPS BLOGGING BECAUSE TROLLING PEOPLE LIKE HER IS MY NEW FAVE PAST TIME OMG

  3. DwD November 23, 2011 at 12:50 am #

    I stumbled upon your blog and can I just say that you’re hilarious?

    This is the first time I heard of Mrs. Rachmi Supangab. I was stunned when I read what she’s written on her blog. My god. But sadly, she’s not the only women (or men) with these ideas and views. A lot of my teachers in junior high and high school are pretty much her (not that crazy and bold but still). Don’t get me started on Mamah Dedeh. I roll my eyes so hard whenever I heard her on TV.

  4. ananda November 23, 2011 at 8:49 am #

    all religion = ignorance, sorry if you say islam is a religion of peace then you haven’t read the quran and same with the bible.

  5. bubbles December 13, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

    Hi Tephy, longtime silent reader here. I adore your wits like mad and hope that this craycray gets her own special spot reserved in hell. Or whatever type of equally miserable afterlife, I don’t discriminate, haha. There’s not enough facepalm gifs in the whole interwebs to describe my frustration about these kinds of dweebs spreading these toxic waste they call “beliefs” all across our country. And here’s a gif for to properly describe how I feel about this toolbox of a woman.

    I hope you like Lucille Bluth.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: