LATE Liveblogging: Miss Indonesia 2012

28 Apr


Judge Judy, The Teller of Absolute Truths
.

LMAO I started tuning in almost 3/4 way thru so I missed all the EXTRAVAGAAAAANZAAAAAA a.k.a. cheap-looking fillers. I think I got lucky. Was briefly thinking about not doing it at all but after you read my first paragraph, I think you will get why I finally posted this stuff. Seriously, this show was so WRONG. But in a hilarious way. Basically if something is so wrong in so many levels, but is harmless, doesn’t cost you any money anyway, and make you laugh annually, IT NEEDS TO CONTINUE. So if anything, THANK YOU RCTI and Miss Indonesia for making me laugh so hard after such difficult times. I changed my mind after the FLOP GIRLS opened their mouths. Continue reading to see why I changed my mind: THIS PAGEANT NEEDS TO GTFO.

Here we goooo…AFTER THE JUMP!!!
(Warning: pretty GIF-heavy)

I tuned in after most of the Top 15 answered their Q&A so I cannot do assessment on their physical appearances. I started just in time for DIY’s turn SO LET’S START THE FUCKERY:

DIY: LOL her bod is okay but her personality is less interesting than a ball of yarn
Q&A: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DO THESE GIRLS ALWAYS ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTIONS AS IF THEY WERE MEMORIZING THE LINES BEFOREHAND. JESUS CHRIST I CANNOT AND FERDY IS A HORRIBLE HOST. STICK TO THE DAMN QUESTION PLEASE

Gorontalo: Um. Is this an EF conversation class, because gurl you flopped. OMG CRYING FROM SO MUCH 2ND HAND EMBARRASSMENT.
Q&A: OMG OH MY FUCKING GOD DID MISS GORONTALO JUST BLAME WOMEN FOR VIOLENCE HAPPENING AGAINST THEM? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. GURL FUCK OFF. SERIOUSLY FUCK OFF. JUST GO HOME AND EDUCATE YOUR DAMN SELF. DIAF AND GTFO.

Jabar: Is better compared to the dumbass girl above (who still needs to fuck off)
Q&A: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WTF WAS THE QUOTE but she’s okay lah. The face was meh but personality wise is okay
Oh, and if Gorontalo made it I’m gonna kill a fucking plant. Bitch, seriously go home.

Now let me use this commercial time to speak about the MUY ESTUPIDO-ness of Miss Gorontalo’s answer. I’m all about women needing to have self respect, BUT FUCK OFF A FUCKING CLIFF if you and your little mind think that women who doesn’t have self respect deserve to have violence happening against them.

HERE LET ME FIX YOUR ANSWER FOR YOU:

“Violence against women in Indonesia is still rampant because we as a nation just don’t fucking care about women empowerment. Here’s an idea and let’s roll with it. You know what should happen against rapists and pedophiles? I say, let’s cut off their dicks and parade them in their dickless state through the major streets. That’s my final answer and I don’t care if I don’t win, COME AT ME BITCHES! A VOTE AGAINST ME IS A VOTE FOR RAPISTS AND PEDOPHILES.”

See. 100000000% better. I think had you just smiled and twirled your dress instead of answering a question YOU HAD NO IDEA ABOUT, it would still be 100000% better. GO BACK TO SCHOOL GURL. Seriously stop playing dress-up.

Oh gawd  they’re back and what in rejected sons of bitches of failed SMASH audition is this boyband… Let me go back to EPL before my brain gets more deteriorated. GO WIGAN!!!!! Sorry Newcastle it’s not that I have anything against you but CHELSEA needs to get back to the top 4.

Um. I like peach for bridesmaids’ dress but these dresses are so ugly and cheap-looking.

Top 5. I like that they don’t lag this stuff. Or maybe it’s because I tuned in late and so I didn’t feel the slow torture from 8 PM?

Oh and I still think that holding a Miss World contest in Bali is a terrible idea. It’s gonna be a lead up to what must be a very INTERESTING election year and I am fucking convinced that SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. Like FPI would pass up the chance to get in the press.

Oh OK. Top 5 girls are: If Gorontalo gets in I will kill something.
1. Bali – eh I like her, she’s pretty. Didn’t watch her Q&A, was she okay?
2. Jatim – Meh. Her teefs are busted, but the Org would fix that in no time.
3. DKI – Eh… seriously? But she sounds smart so, yeah okay?
4. Maluku Utara – She’s pretty but her video reminds me of a talking Angry Bird stuffies.
5. PLEASE DON’T LET IT BE GORONTALO — Jawa Barat: yeah, see my reaction to her Q&A above

Wasted girl(s): NAD. But let’s move on.

And LMAOOOO I don’t watch Indonesian TV channels anymore except for tvOne’s La Liga, so I missed all the godfuckingawful commercials like this amazing “Victoria Bodyscent” stuff. I have now officially lost all ability to can tbh.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA the extra prize for special awards is so awful. Basically you can only get anything if you get an accident? AMAZING TROLLING, RCTI!

Miss Beautiful Skin (LOL): NAD
Miss Healthy: AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA Gorontalo a.k.a. PUTA ESTUPIDA. Well, you know at least she’s healthy.
Miss Online: LOL I was busy tweeting but no one cares anyway, no?
Miss Lifestyle: LOLOLOLOL Sorry I didn’t get who won but AHAHAHAHA what a prize. You can get IDR 1 Bn IF YOU GET AN ACCIDENT, WINNER!
Miss Congeniality: Papua. IDK, but the girls from Papua always win this award.
Miss Favorite a.k.a. Miss Thanks For Your SMS, You Dumb Gullible Fucks: Kalbar

OMGGGGG Liliana Tanusudibjo is my KWEEEN. Indonesia’s answer to Rhea Durham. AHAHAHAHAH the way she didn’t even look at whoever she gave the damn bouquet to and was DYING to get off the stage. I feel you gurl. This show is a mess and you probably need to pee.

Did anyone feel as weird as I was to see that despite all the health-related agenda Miss Indo suppports, they still allowed a cigarette brand to advertise in their show? GET THEIR MONEY, BOO; I WON’T JUDGE (BUT I WILL LOL THO).

Top 5 Q&A time!!!!!
Bali: BLAH that was such an easy question and she answered it exactly like she had memorized it. And NO it wasn’t a good answer you bald pandering judge. And I don’t like the way she speaks English, because it is so distracting. Like a fish gasping for air.

Jatim: She got the Q from Liliana (a.k.a. MY KWEEN – who still looks bored and bitchy) and she killed it. In a pandering, fake, and conceited way, but she still killed it.

DKI: AHHHH WHY DOES A GIRL WITH HER KIND OF EDUCATION EVEN BOTHERED JOINING THIS PAGEANT??? IF SHE DIDN’T DO IT TO TROLL I WOULD BE VERY DISAPPOINTED. OMG this question. AAAAAAAND SHE CAN JOIN GORONTALO IN A BUS TO GO BACK HOME. FUCK OFF A FUCKING CLIFF IF YOU THINK A WOMAN IS ONLY A “SUPPORT” TO HER HUSBAND.

FUCK OFF A FUCKING CLIFF. WHAT IS WROOOOOONG WITH OUR GIRLS, I AM LEGIT ANGRY RIGHT NOW. SHUT UP, AND GO HOME. HERE, LET ME FIX YOUR ANSWER FOR YOU: “I think a woman could count herself as successful when she can achieve whatever she wants to achieve in any terms, any situation, and despite any obstacles with pride, dignity, and self-respect.” SERIOUSLY. If you want to memorize your answer beforehand, MEMORIZE THAT. The fact that she holds a Master’s Degree and still thinks LIKE THAT just makes me… I really can’t. If that’s how educated women think in Indonesia, something is really wrong and I want to punch something right now.

MalUt: Gurl. If you had memorized this shit, seriously you should practice it better SO PEOPLE WOULDN’T THINK THAT THIS SHOW IS RIGGED. Seriously it was so painful to watch.

JaBar: First off, Ferry Salim (a.k.a. my neighbor) needs to dress up and do his hair age-accordingly. Um, the way she answered her question is Maluku Utara-ish, but a bit better.

My Top 3 prediction: Jatim, Jabar, and as much as it pains me to write this, DKI a.k.a. “FOREVER HUSBAND SUPPORTER” will join them.
And you guys think too highly of my pain threshold if you think I didn’t change the channel during this boyband thingy. Stoke City, WHY. Also, great stuff from Wigan. Oh, and it is very considerate of RCTI that the Europa League rerun between ATHLETIC BILBAO (a.k.a. my future husband’s club) & Sporting Lisbon airs after this mess. Thank you RCTI, I really need the soul-palate cleanser.

Top 3 announcement:
DKI (ahaahhahaahaha—- see.)
Jatim
Bali

Damn. I still think Jabar killed it better and I still hate Bali’s English fish-lip but let’s move on.

Top 3 Q&A:
Q: Basically what other stuff that you’re good at except being pretty, and blahblahblah

Jatim: I think she did great. Still think her teefs are busted, but it’s a fixable problem.
Bali: Um. this gurl. I cannot. Bye gurl. She has the personality of a nail clipper, tbh. Efficient, but COLD.
DKI: PLEASE CHOKE BECAUSE I CANNOT HAVE A GIRL LIKE YOU TO REPRESENT MY COUNTRY. Euw. She answered great in a vapid, fake, and self-entitled way. UGH IF SHE WINS I WILL BREAK A DAMN BOWL.

JATIMMMMM PLEASE WIN. JUDGES, SHE WORKS LIKE A HORSE! A VOTE AGAINST JATIM IS A VOTE AGAINST SERGIO RAMOS AND HORSES!!!!

Can I skip the recap of what Miss Indo 2011 a.k.a. Runaway Bride did all this time since I’m sure no1currs right?

RESULT!
2nd RU: DKI JAKARTA (THANK LOOOOORD IN HEAVEN)
1st RU: Jatim


Miss Indonesia: BALI! WHEEEE!!! OMG. Apparently the Miss Indonesia Org likes candidates with a personality of a nail-clipper and fish-lippy English, BUT I WON’T JUDGE.

Okay that’s all folks. That’s your new winner. As always, they got this wrong again (shoulda canceled this stuff like years ago).

To sum it up: it’s really a sad thing isn’t it? That women are represented like this, as if we will always be victims (that will always be the ones to get blamed, ty Gorontalo), won’t be considered successful if we didn’t have a husband despite building a successful career? These women are supposed to represent us, Indonesian women. Let’s think of this before we go to bed tonight, shall we?

And if you have a daughter/ plan to have any kids; please. PLEASE. Tell her that she IS  a strong woman who will be successful and she wouldn’t need some patronizing sons of bitches validating her as one. Teach her to kick ass, just in case Miss Gorontalo’s point of view gets adopted by people around her. Tell her that she doesn’t need a loser husband just to achieve Miss DKI’s definition of “successful woman.” And most importantly, get her as far as possible from degrading, reductive, and disgraceful pageants like this. Remind her what Judge Judy said in the top gif.

Having said MUCH, Tephy’s out.

AND WHERE IS THE ATHLETIC BILBAO GAME, RCTI YOU LYING SACK OF DICKS!

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One Response to “LATE Liveblogging: Miss Indonesia 2012”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The “R” Word « NamakuTephy - January 15, 2013

    […] I am writing this I sort of hear a part of me saying to myself “Gurl please you shame these girls all the time in this blog so maybe you should sit […]

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